As I get older, I've noticed that I have very little patience for quite a few things, and lying is at the top of my list. Deception of any kind is offensive, and I'd rather not be exposed to it. I respect truth and honesty. It makes everyone involved feel secure, considered, and valued.
Do you remember as a kid, all the lies you believed (i.e., Santa, absentee parent's excuses, WWE, family dynamics, fairytales) and how you felt when you finally found out the truth? Hurt, dismayed, even a little angry. Folks taking advantage of your blind trust and naivety, it's a lot to process.
Happened to me again much later in life, and when it did, it was a horrible blow. I trusted more than I should've, I believed in someone who wanted to step away from their role for reasons only they really knew...
So now, to save myself from those same terrible feelings, I ask all kinds of questions. Irritating, repetitive ones, uncomfortable ones, not caring one bit. My trust has been destroyed, which is very uncomfortable, so I guess we're both dealing with some things we don't really want to, but such is life.
The other day, I was in an interrogative mood, I needed answers, and I stopped myself. I'm learning that asking a thousand questions (of which 998 I already know the answer to) will not bring back the trust that was lost. In the end, it'll drive you both crazy and all you'll have is a whole bunch of answered questions when all you wanted was to feel like you did before the betrayal.
After the mood subsided (a little), I went outside to get some air and saw the sky, so beautiful, multi-colored, and in full view. If I was still inside, asking all them questions, I would've missed this, which is what usually happens when you put too much focus on the wrong things, you miss the right ones.....
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